I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize