just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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