He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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