Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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