i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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