At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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