But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
