There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
