super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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