Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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