Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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