What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
