Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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