ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize