Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
