Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize