No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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