can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
