Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
All the doctor said was why
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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