His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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