that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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