We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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