were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize