i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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