Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
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i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
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The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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