She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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