he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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