So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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