I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
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his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
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I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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