well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
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I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
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I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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