I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
