I'm really into asian looking animals
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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