he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
