This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
