it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
