Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
