Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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