so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
