You're my little dorito
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
