And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
