I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.