I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have demons in me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.