Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.

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  (805): You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street. http://tfl.nu/uxg0
  Replies (15) Good night (6689) Bad night (2090)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.

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  (908): So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning. http://tfl.nu/ff78
  Replies (31) Good night (2821) Bad night (5719)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final

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  (610): You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final http://tfl.nu/7b8j
  Replies (18) Good night (10049) Bad night (892)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'

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  (+44): He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.' http://tfl.nu/uc3v
  Replies (24) Good night (4876) Bad night (1212)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now

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  (318): I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now http://tfl.nu/xdsb
  Replies (15) Good night (5597) Bad night (1637)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....

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  (210): Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later..... http://tfl.nu/qwdm
  Replies (2) Good night (5161) Bad night (1101)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We left an ass print on the piano.

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  (518): We left an ass print on the piano. http://tfl.nu/qaoo
  Replies (23) Good night (3952) Bad night (924)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dibsssss

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  (570): Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again (1-570): Dibsssss http://tfl.nu/o6dy
  Replies (11) Good night (2088) Bad night (673)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.

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  (781): And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today. http://tfl.nu/2n0s
  Replies (21) Good night (2789) Bad night (621)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Wat

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  (612): There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday. (763): like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo (612): Wat http://tfl.nu/5jqo
  Replies (5) Good night (1680) Bad night (475)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?

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  (603): Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy? http://tfl.nu/plt7
  Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (273)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?

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  (716): I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there? http://tfl.nu/ou0k
  Replies (4) Good night (192) Bad night (539)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.

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  (484): I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid. http://tfl.nu/c1yp
  Replies (2) Good night (382) Bad night (274)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.

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  (775): All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch. http://tfl.nu/tcmn
  Replies (5) Good night (918) Bad night (236)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?

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  (215): What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"? http://tfl.nu/jmdv
  Replies (8) Good night (115) Bad night (192)

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