I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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