Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
