The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
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i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
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I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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