When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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