you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
