My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
A+ Viking dick
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