She said her name was "party"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
