shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
They are going to name an STD after you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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