No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
