I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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