Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
