I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
