I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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