so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
