youre lurking in front of me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize