I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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